


Starlight

by Pas_Cal



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [4]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Cancer, Character Death, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 10:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10965657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pas_Cal/pseuds/Pas_Cal
Summary: Everyone has a light inside, and each one shines just as differently as the next. Maria, though... Maria's is the brightest as far as Ivan knows.





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> One-shot requested by Anonymous on Tumblr

It was funny how such a long life could seem so short once one neared the end of it. It didn’t matter how much you filled up the years, it all seemed so trivial the moment death rang its bell.

But it wasn’t, Ivan had to remind himself. It meant something, even if it was only to others. There was no counting how many times your life touched someone elses and made it brighter. One could never know how much happiness they brought to the world.

Ivan was sure if he took the time to count, though, Maria’s life would have made the world the brightest.

It had done wonders for his, after all. He’d lost his parents at such a young age and had to live with his grandfather. An old, war hardened man who was stricter than anyone else alive. He was scary, but he took good care of his grandchildren. 

The Beilschmidt’s had moved next door when he was seven years old. Being polite, his grandfather had ushered the three kids over to the neighbors porch to introduce themselves.

That’s when he met Maria for the first time. She was two years younger than him; her chubby little hand curled around that of her infant brothers who struggled to stand on still learning feet. She was hidden behind her mothers skirt, staring at him owlishly with the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.

“You’ve got pink in your eyes!” Ivan had exclaimed excitedly.

Maria had gotten so mad and bolted out from behind her mother, stomping on his foot. “I’ll put some pink on your face!” And then she darted back inside, gathering up her brother clumsily in her arms as she went.

Ivan hadn’t realized until later that she’d been bullied for looking so different, and that’s why she’d acted so rudely. Poor little Ivan had been in tears. The neighbors daughter _terrified_  him. For such a small girl she had a heavy foot.

The next day Maria and her mother came over to deliver an apology. Ivan was too scared to show his face, even when he heard Maria crying dejectedly that she was “Really, really, really sorry! I won’t do it again, I promise!”

Seeing her at school the following year was absolutely terrifying. There he was, a third grader, mortified of this spunky little first grader. Ivan was a pretty big kid. Rather…rotund for his age actually. It was not out of the ordinary to be picked on because of it.

And one day when a group of fifth graders had cornered him at recess, here came this little white ball of rage, screeching demonically and pulling at their hair and biting and- to put simply it was absolutely _night mare inducing_.

“You leave him alone!” Maria had hollered. “Only I get to pick on him! He’s _my_  neighbor!”

She sent all three of those fifth graders _wailing_ , and all she got off with was a scratch.

And a suspension.

That was, more or less, the beginning of their friendship. Ivan was shy and reserved, but Maria always butted in and forced him to play with her, even at home. And bullies? Never heard of again after she showed up. Maria was small, but she was fierce. “I’m gonna rule this school!” She declared at the very top of the jungle gym. “All will bow down to my greatness!”

“You can’t even get the books on the tall shelves.” Ivan reminded her.

She’d chucked her shoe at him for that insult. Ivan, she declared, would be her personal slave in her new grade school empire.

That’s how it had always been. They were friends, but mostly because Maria absolutely insisted they were. For a long while, Ivan was still quite afraid of her. But as she got older, she got more beautiful. Less crazy.

Still odd and full of energy, but she didn’t go flying into fights unannounced for no reason.

It was middle school when he realized he had a crush on the girl next door. And when high school began, it became painfully obvious. She always made him smile. Always did the strangest things to brighten up his day. During the years when they didn’t go to school together, she’d always go straight to his house after they got home to play or relax. She always forced him to share his homework so she could try and get ahead in the schooling game.

He joined wrestling team in high school at the demand of his grandfather. He needed to start getting into shape, after all. Ivan didn’t very much _like_  throwing punches at other students, but he was certainly good at it. Once he got the training down, he was unstoppable in the ring.

When Maria found out, she demanded to go to every tournament he was in. He liked to hope it was to see him, but he was fairly certain she just really wanted to watch two half naked men go at it. She’d always been rather fascinated with the male physique; muscles especially.

His junior year he chickened out on asking her to prom. But his senior year he decided it was now or never.

He’d managed to find her at her locker and god he was so nervous, he could feel his face burning…

“Maria…?”

When she saw him, she smiled so brightly he felt like his heart was going to melt. She was only fifteen, but she had grown so much since when they’d first been introduced. Her hair was longer now, and she actually wore clothes that matched (thank god she’d become friends with that french kid…). 

“Vanya!” She bounced on her feet, clapping her hands excitedly. “Just the guy I wanna see!” He didn’t even get a chance to get a word in edgewise before she started prattling off. “Listen! Tonio and Franny are both going to Prom, but they already have dates and I can’t go unless it’s with someone from the upper classes, so how about you and I go? We can make it a date and everything!”

Ivan stood there, dumbfounded. He stared, and Maria anxiously wriggled in place, waiting for his response.

All he could let out was a rather dumb sounding “Yes”, but that was enough for Maria. She let out a squeal, throwing her arms into the air before pulling him into a hug.

So _she_  ended up asking _him_  to prom. Alright. That was okay. At least the goal was achieved. Right? But what about that bit of “making it a date” she’d tacked onto the end…? Did that mean what he thought…?

He got his answer on the night of prom, when he made the short walk next door to pick her up. She’d gotten all dolled up and, God, he’d never seen a more gorgeous sight. A deep blue, knee length dress that sparkled like the stars. She’d even put on earrings.

When Ottis, her father, got them to pose for a picture, Maria had stood up on her tip toes to give Ivan a kiss on the cheek just as the camera flashed.

He felt like he was going to die his heart was beating so fast.

She kissed him again that night when he dropped her off at home. Again, on her tip toes, but this time her lips pressed against his. When she leaned back down, she was smiling so sweetly up at him, hands curled into his blazer. 

It was the first of many kisses.

He could remember getting in trouble with Ottis walked in on them in her bedroom. Ivan had been so embarrassed and stupidly blurted out a “Maria started it!” to which she smacked him clear across the face and barked out a “Couples don’t out each other you jerk!”

He remembered the way she’d kissed him when he’d proposed. They were in college then, sharing a dorm. Really, he couldn’t call it a proper proposal. He’d just been thinking aloud and the question “What if we got married?” came to mind.

Maria answered rather quickly, “how does May sound?”

She’d crawled into his lap, arms around his shoulders. She waited from him to give a reply, a mumbled "That sounds perfect” before she leaned in to steal his breath away. She was always doing that. On their wedding day. On their anniversary. On every single date they ever went on. When they made love…

And then one day, sprawled out on top of him as he read through one of his favourite books, Maria asked him.

“What if we had kids?”

Ivan had lowered his book, giving her a funny look, but the thought wasn’t that bad at all. He rather liked children, and to have one of his own with Maria…

“That sounds perfect.” He smiled, drawing his fingers through her hair. Maria grinned up at him, sliding up to kiss him on the lips.

“How does January sound?”

Nine months later and they introduced little Irina into the world. He’d never seen a more beautiful sight before than that of his _wife_  holding their adorable new born little girl. Ivan seldom cried, but just looking at the two of them sent tears streaming down his cheeks he was so happy.

Irina was their little angel. She was small, and she had Ivan’s eyes and her mother’s cute little button nose. “I hope she ends up like me.” Maria said tiredly, curled up against Ivan in the hospital bed. It was cramped, Ivan was still quite the hulking figure, but it was comfortable. A family of three all together.

Ivan hummed, pressing a cheek to her head. “I am not so sure the world can handle two of you.” He murmured. Maria gave a laugh, resting her head against his shoulder as little Irina suckled away.

He never wanted that moment to end. There were times when he would just shut his eyes and think back to that perfect moment and he’d feel so calm and happy…

Hospitals didn’t really bring the same happiness they used to, now, however.

Not when instead of bringing in a new life, it was taking one away.

Irina was two years old when Maria had started to get sick. It started off small; just headaches every now and then. But over the months they slowly started to progress to full on migraines that left her bedridden for days. Ivan couldn’t remember seeing Maria so utterly unhappy and depressed before. She wasn’t meant to be locked up in the dark, but she couldn’t stand to do anything else.

There were days where she didn’t seem all there. Or when she had trouble keeping her balance. She kept being as obstinate as ever, though. Always claimed she’d be fine. It’d pass.

They had to draw the line somewhere, though. That line was when he came home to find Irina absolutely _wailing_  and Maria seizing on the floor a few feet away.

The diagnosis was simple, but it was gut wrenching.

“The tumor has spread and it’s starting to move toward the brain stem.” Doctor Von Bock had said. He handed them the scans, showing the abnormalities in her head. “At this point, it’d be difficult to operate without causing further damage or worse…”

Ivan felt like his heart was going to break into a million pieces, but Maria remained so calm sitting next to him, staring at the sheets in her hands. She’d been a nurse until she had become a stay at home mom, but still…

“How long…?” Maria asked, voice even and expression eerily blank.

Von Bock rubbed at his chin before folding his hands on his desk. “We can try treatment and prolong the effects. It won’t be easy. And given how far along you are, I can’t guarantee it will fix everything. Right now, you’re looking at six to ten months. A year would be pushing it…”

“That bad…?” Her gaze flickered back down to the scan. She lifted it up, illuminating it with the office light to see it a bit better.

“We can try,” Doctor Bock reiterated. “Believe me, we can do our damndest. But I just want you to understand that it will not be easy. At the very least we can make you comfortable and-”

“No, she’ll take the treatment.” Ivan said hastily. “We’ll do anything to-”

“Ivan.” Maria glared at him and he faltered, staring at her wide eyed.

She didn’t want the treatment.

They left the office in silence. Maria would be given prescriptions to help make things more comfortable, but that would be all. There would be no chemo. No surgery. Nothing.

“Why…?” Ivan asked. They were in bed, lights turned off and Irina put to sleep. He’d rolled on to his side to face her, but her gaze was on the ceiling. She was silent for a long while, hands idly wringing together. It was the only sign he had that she was nervous.

“I’ve seen what it does to people,” she replied softly, “the chemo. It’s miserable and agonizing… I can’t tell you how many people I had to sit with because they were in so much pain, feeling like their blood boiling in their veins. The way it makes them sick…”

“But it can make you better,” he reached for her hand, clutching it tightly in his own, “even if just a little longer…”

Maria let out a breath and rolled to face him. “Ivan… It’s not worth it.” Before he could protest she spoke again. “I’d be hospitalized for weeks. I’d be miserable. And besides that we can’t _afford_  that sort of treatment. You want to put our monetary stability on the line for a few more months…?”

“I’d give anything for a few more months, Masha…”

But Maria couldn’t be convinced. She just wanted to be comfortable. That was all. Make what time she had left as pleasant as could be.

It was three months before she had to be admitted to the hospital. Ivan visited every day, and he always brought a bouquet of flowers. Something different every day to make the place more and more beautiful, even as she wasted away. She’d become so frail and thin… He was scared the hospital had stopped feeding her, but she admitted it was because she had trouble keeping most things down.

He brought Irina in every other day. Maria was always happiest with her little girl in her arms. 

It broke his heart to hear her ask when her Momma was going to come home.

It was October when it happened.

It was his usual routine. A pass by the flower shop for a bouquet of flowers, and then off to the hospital. Once the elevator opened, however, he felt his heart sink when he saw the commotion in front of her room.

“Mister Braginsky!” One of the nurses stepped in front of him, holding her hands up. “Not yet, you need to-”

“What’s going on…?!”

“There’s been some complications and-” The poor woman didn’t get another word out before he pushed past her. He burst into the room, the bouquet slipping from his fingers as he moved toward Maria’s bedside. Doctor Von Bock was there, a stethoscope pressed to her chest, but the heart monitor said it all.

A single flat line ran across the screen, A long, incessant tone filling the room.

How could he have not been there…? How could he have missed it…?! He only had so much time left with her and he’d- He’d wasted their last minute together buying _flowers_ …!

“Mashunya…” His voice cracked as Doctor Von Bock started to pull away and flip off the machine. The room fell quiet.

He half expected her to wake up, to look at him and smile and everything would be fine again. They’d go home and be a family again…

But for once, Maria laid utterly still and silent. Her light had gone out.

* * *

“Are you excited for your first day?” Ivan asked sweetly, crouched in front of his daughter. Irina had her tiny little hands fisted into her skirt, but her expression was absolutely defiant.

“Of course I am!” She huffed. “I’m always ready!” 

Ivan smiled and reached out to ruffle her curls. “Just try not to get in any more fights, okay? I do not want to receive a call from the school on your first day.”

“It was one time and those kids deserved it. They were picking on the crippled boy from next door…!” She whined. Ivan pressed a finger over her pouty lips to quiet her.

“No more fighting,” he said sternly, “understood?”

She gave a silent nod, cheeks puffed up. “Understood.”

“Good, now have fun, and stay out of trouble. I love you, Mouse.”

“I love you too, Papa.”

They brushed their noses together before Irina turned and darted off into the crowd of kids heading inside. Ivan stood, watching her until she disappeared into the building. It was her first day of kindergarten. Two years since her mother had passed away.

Back at home, Ivan started into his routine of cleaning up the place. Toys put away, colouring books filed neatly on the shelf, beds made. It was easy, considering only two people occupied the house. As he walked down the hall, he passed pictures of him and Maria from over the years. Prom, their wedding, their baby shower. In each one, Maria was absolutely glowing. Even those taken after she’d been diagnosed showed her bright and happy.

Irina loved looking at the pictures. She’d always exclaim how pretty Maria was. “How’d her hair get so white?” 

“I suppose the stress of handling you did that.” Ivan joked. Little Irina would give him a playful smack to his cheek, puffing her cheeks up not unlike how her mother had done.

“Alright, alright. You want to know?” Ivan shifted his hold on her, pointing to their prom picture; at her dress that sparkled like the night sky. “She had hair made of stardust.”

Irina’s eyes widened alarmingly. “Really?!”

Ivan nodded, a warm smile on his face. “And eyes made from the purest gemstones. Just like jewels. And she had a heart as big as-”

“As big as Texas! Texas is huge!” Irina chirped. Ivan had to stifle his laughter, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Nyet. Your mother had a heart the size of the world; and a light in her that lit up even the darkest of places…”

Irina rested her head against her father’s shoulder, staring at the picture in front of her. “Momma was pretty awesome, wasn’t she?”

Ivan nodded.

“Yes. Yes she was.”


End file.
